Why I'm a Geek...Part Two

  Nothing could be geekier than being a movie fanboy, and I have to admit, I'm definitely one.   However, it depends a lot on what kind of movie you go all fanboy over - anime (revered by 12 year olds), horror (revered by anyone with taste), Tom Cruise (revered by queers and Scientologists), and ... well, you get the picture.

  So what gets my inner geek all wound up?  Three words, my friends ...

BRUCE FUCKING CAMPBELL!

Yep, it's time for some more Bruce...coming this month in the form of My Name is Bruce.  A washed up actor in an Oregon town, mistaken by the residents for the movie hero he portrays, is recruited to fight a monster invading the town.  Bruce, playing Bruce who sometimes plays Ash...kind of like Galaxy Quest with a Campbellian twist.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0489235/

Swearing at work is good for you.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article349171.ece

By PETE BELL

Published: Today

F*** me! Boffins have found swearing at work can fight stress.

It seems foul-mouthed kitchen genius Gordon Ramsay may be onto a winner when it comes to boosting morale in the workplace.

The University of East Anglia said a study of leadership styles found the use of "taboo language" boosted team spirit.

Professor Yehuda Baruch, professor of management at the Norwich-based institution, warned bosses that any moves to prevent workers from swearing could have a negative impact.

He said: "In most scenarios, in particular in the presence of customers or senior staff, profanity must be seriously discouraged or banned.

"However, our study suggested that, in many cases, taboo language serves the needs of people for developing and maintaining solidarity, and as a mechanism to cope with stress. Banning it could backfire.

"Managers need to understand how their staff feel about swearing. The challenge is to master the art of knowing when to turn a blind eye to communication that does not meet with their own standards."

My balls are okay...

  If you're asking WTF, so was I.   So, I give you, Boys on Wheels, performing their smash hit "My balls are okay."  Once you pick yourself up off the floor, try to control the laughing.

Why I'm a Geek...Part One

As part of a new feature on the Cranky Stockman, reasons I'm a geek #1. My geekdom started when I was about 10 and the world was blessed by that television classic, BUCK ROGERS.  Most of the show pretty much sucked, but one of the first Sci-fi hotties I became aware of (besides the obvious Princess Leia a couple of years earlier) was Colonel Wilma Deering (Erin Grey).  If the spandex doesn't get you, then you're NOT a true geek.

The Passion of Benny Hill

Man oh man...how could something sooooooo very wrong be so god-awful funny? The Passion of the Christ, set to Yakety Saks (you know, the music from Benny Hill. I nearly peed myself laughing and begging Gods' forgiveness at the same time.

Fejj!

Real Name: Classified
Stockman Name: Fejj (aka Lego Hair)
Mad Max Character:  The Gyro Captain
Muppet: Scooter
Favorite Gun: Unknown
Favorite Movies: No clue - Fejj never checks his email and never responded, so I'll just guess and go with whatever gay porn happens to be in his DVD player.
Quote: I hate you guys.

Learn to speak Stockmanese

  Follow this simple song to learn all you need to know about the Stockman secret language.

Finally, a resource for US!

A wiki I might actualy use - The Boobpedia!

Caution - this will probably piss your wife off!  You have been warned!
MOST DEFINITELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

If Dusty had been a cashier instead of a stockman

Thank god our man Dusty was born a Stockman; otherwise, he might have ended up like this cashier.

Stockmen of the World...

1. Be a stockman.
2. Have some HTML skills
3. Have a digital camera/camera phone
4. Have some serious class envy issues (don't we all?)
5. Come up with this web page

Fuck you and your H2

  Must be a lot of stockmen in the world; go to submissions and check out the pictures - all 4300 of them.  Thats a lot of love for Hummer drivers.

Wild Thing!

Real Name: Classified
Stockman Name: Wild Thing
Mad Max Character:  V8 Interceptor 
Muppet: Fozzie Bear
Favorite Gun: SSR-AKMS
Favorite Movies: Half Baked, Dazzed and Confused, Super Bad, The Matrix Trillagy, Apocolipto, Brave Heart
Quote: What happend last night?

CEO-to-Worker pay - they make 364 time what you do.

  Yep, it's true - the people at the top make 364 times what you do.  Or, if you think of it this way, if you make $30000 a year (yeah, right), a typical CEO makes in 1 day what you make in a year.  Alternatively, they could fire the CEO and afford to hire 300 + new employess (or maybe give the rest of us a damn raise once in a while).  And yet, back in the 80's, the ratio was more like 70 times worker pay.

Ceo-to-worker pay

  Sooner or later, the peons will get the drift - you're pretty much worthless to us corporations.  One of these days, fellow stockmen, there will be either a revolution or the Stockalypse...then the real fun will begin.  

Mad Max 4 - The Stockmen

  Just a fun little Stockman pic I whipped up last evening.  Enjoy!

POKEY!

Real Name: Classified
Stockman Name: Pokey
Mad Max Character: The Goose
Muppet: Sam the Eagle
Favorite Gun: Widley 45 Win Mag with 10" Barrel
Favorite Movies: Soldier, Kung Fu Hustle, Kung Pow, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra
Quote: I don't like repeat offenders, I like dead offenders

TANK!

Real Name: Classified
Stockman Name: Tank
Mad Max Character: Max
Muppet: Waldorf (one of the old guys in the balcony)
Favorite Gun: Kel-Tec PLR-16 Long Range Pistol 223
Favorite Movies: The Thing, Escape from New York, Big Trouble in Little China
Quote: How are you today? Pow pow pow, stab stab stab, self-inflicted gunshot wound!

Once more into the breach...

  Hey all, Tank here.  After a looooong hiatus, work on the Stockmen has resumed.   A variety of stumbling blocks have arisen along the way, but summer is nearly at an end, and those long winter days are fast approaching.  So, to begin, I'm reworking the entire group from the ground up to bring all of the models up to their most compatible versions.  All of the Stockmen that you love will be here, but most will look very different from the limited number of test pics I did during the original run.  As the figures get completed, they'll be introduced here with a complete writeup.  I can't promise speedy work, but as figures get posted, work will also begin on the first Stockman animation - a music video that will double as the opening credits.  

  Which brings me to my next point - which song most defines us as Stockmen?  I've selected a few, with video samples.    Check these out, and vote on which one you think best fits us.  The possibilities include -

KORN - Coming Undone
DROWNING POOL - Bodies
HOOBASTANK - Born to Lead
PANTERA - Cowboys from Hell
DISTURBED - Down with the Sickness